Current Mood: lonely

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts you? I feel like i've given him all of me. Both emotionally and physically. He's the only one who has enough of me to actually break my heart. I feel stupid admitting this, because sometimes I feel like he doesn't feel as much as I do. I'm afraid of losing him because I know I'll be devastated if that ever happens.

So my water cleanse failed today. I started off great, then lunch came around. FML! I hate having money on me because I will inevitably spend it on some kinda food. I plan to carry $0 tomorrow. My wallet is staying home :) that's the only way! But to be honest, I ate less today than I usually do which is a serious miracle LOL. I'm so unbelievably depressed.

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So today I learned a lesson. Sorry, not just one lesson but MANY lessons. I went to work today. I was working alone. Considering that last night was Halloween, I barely had any customers. I guess everyone was just too tired to leave their comfort zones. I had approximately 15 customers from 10am to 6pm. That is the saddest thing in life. During my time at work, I was cursed with severe boredom. There was only so much work and cleaning to be done. I found myself eating to pass the time away. If I was eating healthy snacks, I wouldn't be so damn upset. I was eating the nastiest most unhealthiest food around. And when I got home I ate again like a fucking dumb ass lol. My point is that I've had enough of eating. Starting tomorrow I am going on a water-cleanse for two weeks. I need to flush my system of all the fat and toxins!
Another lesson that I have learned is that this world is cruel. Humans are heartless. Yes we do have feelings, but we are heartless. Yes we are smarter than other animals, but we are heartless. Yes we fall in love but We Are Heartless. I have many reasons for saying this. Cheating, abuse, false hope, peer pressure, society, lies, jealouy, hate, envy, etc. My list goes on and on. I'd refuse to live in a corrupt and malicious world like this.

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Current Location: In bed
Current Mood: Frustrated
Current Music: Silence

Okayyy.. so according to the dailyplate.com
today i am at -599 calories!
I just have to keep this up for another month or soo.
I'm excited to see results :)
YAY!

 All i've eaten so far today is:
Golden Apple- without the skin, raw - 53cal
Fruit to go bar - 45cal

Good luck homiesss.